Daughter of a car design engineer. High school cheerleader. Dunkin' Donuts waitress. Dancer. Wannabe topless model. Least likely virgin ever. Material girl. Failed actress. Sean Penn's wife. The Catholic Church's Least Favourite Female Singer (until Sinead O'Connor). S&M advocate. Topless model. Failed actress. Mother. Eva Peron. Polo-playing lady of the manor. Failed actress. Kabbalah PR agent. Bond girl. Saviour of Malawi. Forbes' third-most-powerful celebrity of 2009 (behind Angelina and Oprah).

But for all Madonna's personal ? and musical ? transformations, what's remained unchanged (apart from that gap between her teeth) is her very average voice. Not that she let it hold her back: the 34 tracks on her third greatest hits album ? and first complete career retrospective ? once again emphasise her (usually) uncanny ability to incorporate the hottest dance trends into (usually) unforgettable pop songs for the masses.

'Frozen', sprinkled with William Orbit's magic dust, remains the ethereal anthem of the late 20th century, in the same way 'Material Girl' will forever be the soundtrack to '80s mass consumerism. Beyond the cheesy synths and corny Caribbean beats 'Holiday' and 'La Isla Bonita' never fail to bring out the sun. High energy club classic 'Into The Groove' and house anthem 'Vogue' ("strike a pose") easily outlive their now dated dance influences. And just like Lady Gaga, Little Boots and La Roux clearly still worship at the church of 'Like A Prayer', the ABBA-sampling 'Hung Up' shows that good songs never die, they just get reworked.

With a traditional chronological approach clearly deemed too conventional, 'Celebration' balances sex ('Erotica', 'Justify My Love') with sweet innocence ('Secret', 'Take A Bow', 'Live To Tell'); the good ('Like A Virgin', 'Sorry') with the bad ('Hollywood', 'Die Another Day'); and the very old ('Everybody', 'Lucky Star') with the brand new (the Paul Oakenfold europop title track, the Britney-influenced Lil' Wayne-featuring 'Revolver').

The result: an album that actually lives up to its title.