And (sorry), it seems we're sticking with the not-quite-Shakespeare theme, here. Except that this is about one of the stars of a TV show that's at least entertaining, if not actually pretty good ? namely, 'Desperate Housewives'.

Eva Longoria has decided to let us in on the secret behind her marriage to basketballer Tony Parker.

I, certainly, have always (well, for at least a few months) wondered how it is that she's managed to maintain her blissful union with Tony for what must be, what, a year or two now?

Apparently, all you need to do to keep that marriage young and vibrant is not to see each other.

Longoria spends much of her time in LA, shooting 'DH' ? while Parker is in Texas, playing for the San Antonio Spurs. So, when they do reunite, "it is a honeymoon, because we only have three days together and we hardly fight because we know we don't have much time".

"All the little things that couples argue about ? we let them slide," explains Eva. And, I ask you ? who's ever come back to be haunted by a problem in their marriage that they ignored?

Jennifer Aniston ? she wants to be ignored more, too. But not because she hopes to keep love alive with that musical millstone of hers, John Mayer. The real problem is the snappers.

"I don't have a game plan," confesses Aniston. "I don't think that in five years' time I need to be doing this or that. You set yourself up for disappointment that way. It seems unnecessary torture."

"I can see myself taking a few years off, living somewhere remote. I would miss acting. But... eventually, I'm not going to be living in L.A. full-time. Eventually I'm going to move somewhere nobody really cares. Just go off and be alone."

Hey, if 'alone' means you'll be without that crooning giblet of a man of yours ? then, hey, more power to you, sister.

Less power, however, to the Kardashian sisters. Kim Kardashian, you'll recall, is famous for having once been Paris Hilton's BFF. And, hanging on even more tenuously to celeb status, are her sisters Khloe and Kourtney. And they're not just sibs, but also Kim's ko-stars in their reality show 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' (oddly enough, they decided not to go with the show-title 'KKK').

What have those vacuous vessels of celebrity being doing with themselves lately? Spending $3000 (that's over R31 000) on a publicity stunt in a Miami nightclub.

"Money started falling from the ceiling!" said an excited onlooker. "It just kept coming and coming, and when I looked up, I saw the Kardashians." Like Christmas and Mother Theresa all rolled into one.

Now, back to Jen Aniston, quickly ? because she's not just one of the only A-listers to admit having had Botox, but also (and far more surprising) likely the only one at all who's planning never to get paralysing poison injected into their facial muscles ever again.

"I tried Botox once and it was really not good for me. I felt like I had a weight on my head," admits Aniston.

"I think it makes women look older. Harder. The warmth in their faces goes away. You see women and you know they're not young, but you can't tell how old they are. That's what stopped me."

Having a blank forehead just doesn't make you look 25 again. Who'd a thunk it?

And, finally, I leave you with the news that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden may be gettin' hitched.

"They are old-fashioned in some ways. Now their second baby is coming, they both want to make it legal," says a source. Hmm, now I'm not really all that up on what's hip with the trad crowd at the moment, but I was always under the impression that they went in for the marriage-before-first-baby thing. Could be wrong.

Who can wait for the heavily-posed tabloid photo-spread cash-in?

More financially beneficial true love ? in next week's Bitch and Famous! And, if you want more gossip before then, just friend me on Facebook.