Huffing that drain-cleaner under your parents' sink, because it'll, like, totally be awesomely super-fun, and not at all, like, totally freaking dangerous... Uh, walk away, friends.

Getting a tattoo with your new partner's name because you're super in love and nothing could ever come between you - just like Angelina Jolie did with Billy Bob Thornton, and Johnny Depp did with Winona Ryder... Yup, you guessed, keep on walkin'.

And if you need a celebrity role-model to act as a shining beacon to light your way along the path of avoiding-rampant-foolishness ? look no further than Elizabeth Hurley.

Unlike with Sandra Bullock, I'm afraid I can point to rather many flopped Hurley flicks.

Liz's wooden intonation makes even the cast of the new '90210' (or the old one, for that matter) look like the Royal Shakespeare Company.

I rather like Hurley, but, bless her, the woman cannot act her way out of a paper bag. So, you may not be as gutted as she reportedly is that she's had to swap the big screen (or straight-to-DVD, as may be the case) for a spot of modelling and organic food-punting (along with Prince Charles - remember?).

She's quit, and she's a winner for it!

Liz's gift to cinema-goers stems from concern for her six-year-old son Damien. The British celeb wants to make sure she's there for her young boy, and not off on set somewhere while he's busy growing up.

"I decided I couldn't do movies for a while, which was a huge decision for me because I actually love making movies more than anything," Hurley just admitted.

But, Liz says, she'd, "take it like a shot," if she got offered something that could be fitted around Damien's school holidays.

Me, I dream of singing jazz standards in a smokey lounge somewhere. But I haven't yet found a business I dislike enough to try that out on. Sometimes (sob), our dreams just can't come true!

And, finally, I leave you with this helpful guide to getting Brad Pitt to star in your movie. Just get him drunk.

Well, it worked for, uh, Quentin Tarantino. Hmm, perhaps it wasn't just the drink...

Tarantino came over one night to talk Brad into starring in his film 'Inglorious Basterds' (which just premiered at Cannes).

"Quentin came to visit with the script, and all I know is we talked about it ? the back story ? and we talked about movies until the wee hours of the night," explained Pitt.

"I got up the next morning and I saw five empty bottles of wine laying on the floor ? five ? and something that resembled a smoking apparatus ? I don't know what that was about."

"Apparently I agreed to do the movie because six weeks later I was in uniform," for the unusual, blackly humorous film, which is set during World War II.

More celeb blackouts and hit movies ? in next week's Bitch and Famous!

And, if you want more gossip before then, just friend me on Facebook.