Won't somebody please think of the children?

Those delicate little minds are being monstrously warped by the filth of Hollywood! That's according to the colossal number of people who've actually taken the time to contact the British Advertising Standards Authority.

And, by colossal number, I mean 20.

Yes, there are a full 20 people out there who genuinely believe the kids will be scarred by seeing the word 'basterds' in ads for Quentin Tarantino's new flick 'Inglorious Basterds'.

You know what I think? I think that if I were in the UK at this moment that number would be 21. Because the children might not have the maturity and background knowledge necessary to realise that this title is purposely misspelt.

Those poor little bastards could land up spelling that word wrongly for the rest of their lives!

It's time to clean up the pit of sin that is Hollywood, friends.

Justin Timberlake, are we going to have to start with you? Yes, you did bring sexy back. (Personally, I was surprised to learn it had been away.) But... are you running around on that talentless adorable girlfriend of yours?

The rumour has been, for some time now, that Jessica Biel is a touch clingier even than that piece of plastic you inevitably land up super-gluing to your hand whenever you, well, try to super-glue anything.

Further rumours have it that Justin is not thrilled with this state of affairs and hasn't been entirely into the relationship as a result.

The latest talk is that Timberlake did a bit of dirty dancing with Rihanna while Jess was off filming in Canada. Some sources claim the two are actually having a fling, but Biel's back in LA now ? and recent paparazzi snaps show her and Justy hand in hand, leaving a romantic restaurant date.

Now, I'm really not a big one for those crazy 'Body language of the stars analysed!' things. I mean, you can be with your significant other and happen to look pissed off or bored for a few seconds ? not least because a bunch of idiots are taking dozens of flash photos right in your face ? without it meaning that you now hate the love of your life.

But, I can't say that the pics of Jessica and Justin made them look wondrously in love. Yes, they were technically holding hands, but they'd managed to get their bodies as far away from each other as humanly possible without actually letting go.

I am, sadly, reminded of those oh-so-romantic island holiday photos taken of Jen and Brad just before they, you know, got divorced.