Do the tabloids really, really need to get endless new photos of celebs out with their kids?

It does rather give you pause, when you're about to buy that mag with pics of family-time in the park, to think that there are two-year-olds who are photographed so much that they already hate the paparazzi.

As Milla Jovovich tells People mag (which, uh, is kind of ironic), she doesn't get to take her tot Ever Gabo out to play much: "She's like, 'Momma, come to the park with me,' and I say, 'When Momma goes to the park, all the photographers come, so you go and play with your friends.'"

"It gets really tense at the park." It's pretty sad when a toddler can't have her mum at the playpark with her. And little Ever Gabo is getting snapped nowhere near as much as Suri Cruise, or the Brangelina brood.

"She's getting used to photographers," says Milla of her daughter, "but she says, 'I want to break them. Oh, camera. I want to break them.' Sometimes I don't even see them and she spots them, like, from a mile away."

There are some celebs, though, who merit no paparazzi sympathy at all. In fact, they're doing all they can to get people to follow them around with cameras... like every single past and present star of 'The Hills' ? the series that took all semblance of reality (and every last drop of sense) out of the reality show.

So, what sort of celeb are you when your get-followed-by-cameras strategy is to 'star' in a spin-off of a reality show? I guess we could just ask Kim Kardashian's sisters.

Or Whitney Port ? the blank-eyed centerpiece of 'The City', which follows/scripts her new, post-'Hills' life in New York, (sort of) working in the fashion industry and drinking cocktails with her alternately bland and objectionable girlfriends.

And, now, some 'City' cast-members just got into a fight at a recent Zac Posen fashion party in the Big Apple with fellow pseudo-celebs from that other so-ghastly-you-can't-stop-watching NY reality show 'High Society' (about young socialites so dedicated to spending their family money on Prada and Cristal that they make Marie Antoinette look socially aware).

Meanwhile, say other partygoers, actual stars ? like Claire Danes and Selma Blair ? hung out, had a good time, and managed to avoid the D-list ruckus.

Even more amusing/distressing ? news that Whitney Port is planning to write a self-help guide for young women, on negotiating their 20s. Before she's finished hers.

"Being a twenty-something can be a difficult phase," says Port. "There are so many questions, and I wanted to write about my experiences for anyone who needs help navigating through life."

"It's a really fun and fresh how-to guide, where I can share anecdotes that I've learned from both work and my personal life."

What's it going to say... Make sure you a get a good production team ? they'll secure you the best season-long fake jobs?

I guess it's a good thing Port at least kind of has a real day-job (just not for long after the cameras stop rolling, by all accounts).

On page two: More extremely unsound advice from the stars.