Jen's birthday was not off to a good start. She said that she now had hatred running through her blood (as opposed to the rest of the time when she has rainbows and sunshine running through it?) and expressed a desire to tear TK's dreads off. Nicolas revealed he would rather tear out TK's beard. What's with all the threats, man? Don't you know you should make love, not war? End Vietnam, man!

Blistering start

On the other hand, Chris and Ron's day was off to a blistering start. Chris's language skills served her well once again and she was able to communicate with the Taiwanese people with ease. They soon got to the Roadblock, where Ron had to sit in a car while a crazy stunt-driver did pant-wetting things to it. First, the car had to drive onto a see-saw and balance, followed by a 17-second trip underwater.

Ronald managed not to have a heart attack and they were off to their next destination, a teahouse. Shortly after, the other three teams arrived. Nate and Jen were both really excited about the car-balancing, so used were they to the teetering see-saw that was their relationship.

TK and Rachel were the first to finish, which served them well as the Speedbump was up next. They had to run through a gauntlet of fireworks before being doused with water. Phil claimed this was an ancient Chinese tradition. I had no idea ancient Chinese had their own version of Jackass.

'We're so mellow'

Nate/Jen and Nicolas/Don finished their Roadblocks in good time. Soon they were at the train station, gloating over the fact that the Hippies were nowhere to be seen. Cue the entrance of TK and Rachel, a little wet but otherwise grungier than ever.

Jen went Hulk. She raged about the dirty Hippies' slacker ways, how they could do next-to-nothing and still come out on top, whereas she and Nate had to actually work to get anywhere. Jen? It's not that they're lazier than you; it's that they?re more damn efficient. You'd be amazed at how much time you can save by not stopping every two minutes to scream at your boyfriend.

She also did her Hippie impression, which was basically her saying "we're so mellow and low-key" in a monotone. God forbid you should be mellow. It's far more productive to model your race behaviour after conflict in the Middle East.

Chris and Ronald reached the teahouse and faced the daunting task of drinking hot tea. Somehow they overcame this overwhelming challenge and went off to find the clown who held their next clue. Ye gods, the contestants have to face clowns now? What sadistic producer came up with this?