Almost everyone who is in a steady relationship will have been tempted by emotional cheating. It's the kind of infidelity that doesn?t involve sex, but will see you share your personal life with someone other than your partner.

Everyone is entitled to have close friends but when does ?close? start to compromise your relationship with your partner? Perhaps it starts over a cup of coffee ? or even over social networking sites ? where you'll share your thoughts with one another and find that perhaps their humour or their view on life interests you.

It's when you turn to them rather than your partner for solace or advice, or when you wish that you could be with them that you need to assess the situation seriously. When that happens, you should ask yourself what's lacking in your relationship with your partner that has led to you needing to turn to someone else.

Love and lust

Ronan Keating, frontman for the band Boyzone, recently owned up to an affair he was having behind wife Yvonne Keating's back. Yvonne is reported to have said, "It'd be one thing if it was just sex, but this was emotional." This quote illustrates an important point about emotional infidelity ? that it can be a more profound kind of infidelity because not only have you given in to a physical desire, but you also long to be with that other person. In this way you are choosing that person over your partner as a companion rather than it just being a sexual fling.

Bill Clinton's sexual encounters with Monica Lewinsky might illustrate this point in another way: while it may have been a sexual encounter, Bill Clinton was still invested in his relationship with his wife Hilary. That the affair was simply a sexual one may also explain why Hilary Clinton did not seem that concerned over it. It may have been a different story if Bill Clinton had fallen in love with Monica Lewinsky.

Psychologically speaking

According to traditional psychological study, it is understood that women view emotional infidelity far more seriously than men do in a relationship. This theory is believed to have an evolutionary root because women look for men who are reliable and trustworthy, while men (who are said to be more concerned about sexual infidelity) are hyper-vigilant and more possessive sexually because they are never completely certain that they are the father of a child.

Still, there are many men who find emotional fidelity as betraying as women do.

If you're the odd one out

Emotional betrayal is more about the fact that your partner is sharing their innermost emotions with someone else, rather than with you. It is about your partner not reciprocating the feelings of love and loyalty to you.

You trust your partner with a lot more than just your body when you commit to them - your emotions, fears, dreams and the fact that your partner loves you even though you're not faultless leaves you very vulnerable when you are "rejected" by them.

Avoid emotional infidelity

There are a number of important aspects in your relationship with your partner that you can work on to help your relationship withstand the temptation of turning to a third party for emotional relief.

• Talk to each other. As always, the number one thing is communication. Speak to your partner about how you're feeling at work, about your relationship with them and about life in general. On a regular basis.
• Find the time. If you work long hours, make a point of setting aside time each week to spend alone with each other to talk about what you both did in the week and how you feel.
• Explore and challenge each other. As long-term relationships tend to become monotonous and repetitive, it's important that you work to keep it interesting. Agree beforehand to set each other tasks and challenge one another to find out and do new things, emotionally, physically and intellectually.
• Show some respect. Respect one another enough to say no to temptations outside of your relationship and be honest enough to own up if you aren't sure about being with your partner.
• Talk to a professional. If you're struggling to work things out between each other, seek professional help. A counsellor may not offer you a solution, but they will help you to consider all aspects and factors in order to make the right choices.