Question
When me and my wife do have sex I would like to stimulate her clitt but she does not like it and do not allow me to do it. Is there something one can do about it? I would also like to make love in exciting new ways but she not? We've tried several things like reading, watching videos but still I do experience our lovemaking a bit boring. I also do have the urge to be massaged sometimes, how do I handle the urge if my wife is not interesting?

Answer
A very important part of sexual behaviour between two people is that they both feel comfortable and in agreement with their activity. Why on earth would you want to stimulate your wife's clitoris if she does not like that activity? Surely you would like to please your wife and make her feel good rather than do things she does not like!

If you feel you would like to be massaged, talk about it and ask your wife if she would do this to please you. Sex is give and take and both partners should have the desire to please one another. I suggest you talk about this to your wife. She may have hang ups from her childhood and may need to talk to someone who could make her feel more comfortable with her own sexuality.

Sex does not have to include hanging from chandeliers to be satisfactory. Examine your own feelings and you may find that your sex life is boring compared to articles you read in magazines, but in real life, it is fine.

On the other hand if you really feel that you would like to improve things, you need to work at it in a non threatening, non judgemental way. You need to communicate well and above all you need to be committed to your relationship. There are some very good books available which both of you should read. Try Seven Weeks to better Sex by Domeena Renshaw published by Random House for starters.